


Castles in the Sky

by Melacka



Category: The Blacklist (US TV)
Genre: F/M, Mild Angst, holiday fic, pre-Lizzington, season 5, some flirting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-27
Updated: 2020-02-03
Packaged: 2020-02-07 07:09:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18615673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Melacka/pseuds/Melacka
Summary: What if Liz said yes when Red invited her to go castle shopping in Trieste?Post 5x11, pre-Lizzington.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally meant to be a one-shot but it was getting weirdly long and I've had it half-written for so long that I'm getting sick of rereading the start of it. So, I'm going to split it in two.
> 
> Set immediately after 5x11 but in a universe where daddygate never happened. Tom Keen is still dead, though. Huzzah!

Liz watched as Bernard helped Red place Winston Churchill’s hat safely back in the box and then retreat to the back of the store. Liz could still feel the grin lingering on her face and was a little surprised. To see Red so tickled by something had made her feel lighter than she had in months. Lighter than she thought she was even capable of being any more.

“Huh,” she said quietly. “Who would’ve thought?”

“Who would’ve thought what?” Red said curiously, glancing up briefly before returning his gaze to the hat box.

“Nothing,” Liz replied quickly. “Listen, were you serious before?”

“About what?”

Liz bit her lip as Red straightened up to face her. His face only held curiosity, nothing else. _Come on, Liz_.

“About going away.”

“Going away?”

“You know, buying a castle?”

“Of course I was, Elizabeth. There are some things I never joke about and Italian real estate is one of them.”

“Right,” she said haltingly. “It’s just – I don’t want – that is—”

“Elizabeth, what is it?”

Liz took in the earnest, mildly-concerned expression on his face and her courage failed her. She mustered a smile, wondering vaguely if she’d ever be able to feel true, uncomplicated happiness again.

“Nothing. I’ll see you when you get back.”

She turned away as she spoke and was nearly at the door when he spoke again.

“Lizzy.”

She stopped abruptly and sucked in a sharp breath.

“Would you care to join me on a little trip to Trieste?”

She turned slowly on her heel to face him again. He started walking towards her, still talking in a soft, oddly-soothing voice.

“The weather is lovely this time of year and you could use a break from Washington. This place has become so dull, Elizabeth. So lifeless.” He gestured expansively with his hands and Liz tracked their movement with interest. “We could both use a little colour in our lives, and what better place than—”

“Yes,” she interrupted him loudly. “I’d love to come with you.”

Liz would have laughed at the look on his face if her stomach hadn’t been churning with sudden nerves.

“Excellent,” he said briskly, recovering from his brief surprise at her easy acquiescence. “When can you be ready to leave?”

* * * * *

Three hours later, Liz was staring out the window of Red’s jet as he spoke to someone on the phone. She had no idea what he was talking about, she wasn’t paying attention. He could be arranging a business deal, ordering a hit or making sure their accommodations were secure, for all she knew. She was lost in her own mind for now, thinking of all the times she’d been on a jet with him. How many times had they travelled together? And yet, this was the first time she was travelling with him for purely personal reasons. No Blacklisters, no leads, no one chasing them. Just a pleasure trip with a friend. She sighed slightly and leaned back in her seat. _Friend_ was the wrong word for how she felt about Red. It was both too much and not enough. He’d been so many things to her for so long now, she didn’t know how to separate them all in her head. She didn’t really want to anyway.

Liz heard Red hang up the phone and glanced over at him. He caught her eye and smiled warmly at her.

“Can I get you a drink?”

“Yes, thank you,” she murmured.

“What would you like?” he asked, getting up and gesturing towards the well-stocked bar.

“Surprise me,” Liz replied dreamily.

He regarded her quietly for a moment before nodding once and strolling away. She listened to the clink of glasses and bottles as he fixed them both a drink and let her eyes drift to the window again. She wasn’t sure what had prompted her to do this, to come along on this trip out of the blue. She’d been so focussed, so single-minded since she’d returned to Washington from the cabin. All she’d wanted was to track down Tom’s killers and have her revenge. That had been the only thing to get her up and moving for months now, the only thing that pulled her out from under the crushing weight of grief and despair that was her constant companion. And then she’d seen Red in that damn hat. Looking for all the world as if he were perfectly content. Liz could only guess at the depths of misery he had been subjected to over the years and yet there he was. Cheerful. Excited. Looking _forward_ to something other than complete destruction. She wanted to feel that again. She wanted to make her way to the other side of the abyss. She knew she wasn’t there yet, but she also knew that she could trust Red to help guide her across.

“You look troubled,” Red said quietly. “Is there anything you would like to talk about?”

“No, I’m fine.”

“Elizabeth, are you regretting your decision to come with me?”

She looked over at him in surprise, but he wasn’t looking at her. He was apparently too busy choosing from the many alcoholic options in front of him. She suspected that he was giving her the chance to back away, to choose to close herself off again if that’s what she wanted. But he didn’t want to watch her do it.

“Red, no, nothing like that,” she said firmly. “I’m glad I came with you. I’m looking forward to spending some time away.”

“Then what is troubling you?”

“I don’t know how to explain it,” she murmured, holding his gaze as he made his way back towards her. She accepted the drink he proffered and patted the seat next to her, encouraging him to sit. “I was just trying to remember the last time I felt at peace,” she said slowly, “and I couldn’t. I can’t remember feeling happy, not properly.”

“Elizabeth—”

“I don’t say this to make you feel sorry for me,” she interrupted him. “I don’t want to upset you or make you think I don’t want to be here. I just want you to understand.”

“Understand?” he prompted after she fell silent again. “What do you want me to understand?”

“So much as happened since you came into my life, Red. You’ve been witness to some of the _worst_ moments of my life.” She ducked her head, aware of how painful this conversation was for both of them. “But I’m still here and I’m doing okay. I’m not happy, but I’m okay.”

“Lizzy—”

“And I know that at least part of that is because of you,” she said in a rush. “I want to find my way to being happy again and I don’t know how. And then I look at you.” She met his eyes, willing him to understand. “You’ve been through so much of your own and you’re still going. I don’t know how you do—” She paused, unsure of how to proceed, she felt like she was making a mess of this conversation but was determined to see it through now that it had started. “How do you find it in you to be happy? How _can_ you?”

“Do you think I’m happy, Elizabeth?”

“Happier than I am, at least,” she joked weakly. “You’ve lost so many people, people you care about—”

“As have you.”

“Yes, I have, and I don’t know how to keep going,” she said harshly. “I’m powered by rage these days, nothing else. Rage and revenge. I used to have things to look forward to, things to hope for. I don’t have that anymore.”

“That’s not true.”

“It feels like it is!”

“But it isn’t,” he insisted. “You can’t see it right now because you’re in the middle of it. You are in the process of recovery.”

“Recovery?”

“You are learning how to be strong again, physically, _emotionally_ , after everything that has happened. It takes time, and I know you don’t want to hear it, but you need to be patient.”

She groaned dramatically and Red smiled at her.

“There are few people left to me that I truly love, Elizabeth,” he said gently and she held her breath. “I have lost—” he paused for a moment, seeming to struggle to contain his emotions. After a moment, he cleared his throat and continued, “I have lost too many people.”

“How do you deal with it?” Liz asked desperately. “How do you get over the grief?”

“You don’t,” he replied simply. “It never goes away, Lizzy. The people you love, the people you grieve, you carry them with you.” He took her hand in his and smiled encouragingly at her. “The grief will fade but it is unlikely to disappear completely. It just becomes a part of who you are.”

“I don’t know who I am anymore,” she said miserably, laying her head on his shoulder.

“You have survived much, Elizabeth,” he soothed her gently. “You will survive this.”

Liz pulled back from him slowly, looking down at her hands. She absently rotated the wedding ring on her finger, strangely aware of its weight against her skin. It wasn’t the comfort that it used to be. Now it just felt alien, like it didn’t belong there anymore.

“I just don’t know how to survive this,” she whispered, head bowed. “Everything just gets taken away—”

“Not everything,” he insisted. “I know that right now it seems impossible, but you will be happy again. Maybe in a different way, maybe in an unexpected way, but you will find yourself again. You will learn to deal with your grief and find a way to live your life.”

Liz sniffled and raised her head so that she could look him in the eye.

“And you’ll help me?” she said hopefully.

He smiled that familiar, fond smile and said, “Of course I’ll help you.”

“Good,” she said, leaning against him again and sighing contentedly when he wrapped his arm around her. “Good.”

* * * * *

A few hours later, Liz woke from a restless doze and looked around her in confusion. She was still leaning against Red with her untouched drink on the table in front of her.

“How long was I asleep?” she asked quietly, sitting up straight and patting her hair absentmindedly.

“A few hours,” Red replied, glancing at his watch and putting down the book he’d been reading. “We’ll be arriving soon.”

“You should have woken me, Red. It can’t have been comfortable with me leaning against you like that for so long.”

“This is a very comfortably plane, Elizabeth, and you looked like you needed the rest.”

“Still—”

“You really must get used to accepting kindness from people, you know.”

She laughed at that and reached forward to grab her glass.

“I’ll drink to that.”

She took a careful sip of the liquor and leaned her head against the seat, watching Red curiously.

“So, are you well-prepared for our trip?”

“As well-prepared as I can be, I guess,” she replied with a shrug. “It’s been a while since I’ve packed that quickly, but I got into a bit of a rhythm before I was done.” She glanced down at her clothes ruefully. “The main thing I feel unprepared for is the weather. All my clothes seem to be black these days. There’s hardly anything left that would put me in the holiday mood.”

“In that case, as soon as we’re settled in and you feel up to the task, I’ll take you shopping!” Red said enthusiastically. “You know I’d quite happily buy you clothes in every available colour if I thought you’d accept them.”

“Even olive?” Liz said playfully.

“Olive? Good god, no!” He shook his head in mild disapproval. “You are a _winter_ , Elizabeth.”

“I certainly feel that way these days,” she said gloomily and then, in an effort to lift her mood, she continued, “I’d love to go shopping with you, on the proviso that we only go places that I can actually afford.”

“Where’s the fun in that?”

“I’m not going to put myself in debt just to get a pretty dress, Red!” Liz exclaimed with a laugh.

“But you’re open to getting a dress? You’ll leave these jeans and boots behind for a few days?”

“What’s wrong with my jeans and boots?” she said indignantly.

“Nothing at all,” he said placatingly. “But they have their time and their place.”

He took a sip of his drink and raised his eyebrows innocently.

“Mourning should be about honouring the dead, Elizabeth, not punishing the living.”

“I’m not punishing myself!”

“I never said you were,” he said smoothly, and she narrowed her eyes at him. She’d walked right into that one. “I think it’s high time you brought some colour back into your life, even if only while we’re in Italy.”

“Okay,” she said slowly. “I’ll make a deal with you.”

“What kind of deal?”

“I promise to keep an open mind and take your fashion advice if you promise to only show me things I can afford to buy. Deal?”

Liz raised her glass in his direction and waited expectantly. After a moment he gave a resigned sigh and clinked his glass against hers.

“Deal.”

“This is gonna be a gas,” Liz said with a smirk.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A day in Trieste.

When they landed in Trieste at one of Red’s typically obscure air strips, Liz was surprised at how cold it was. It was better than the bitter winter they’d been suffering through back home, but she still gasped a little as the first burst of cold air hit her face.

“I thought it was meant to be milder here than Washington?”

“Fear not, Elizabeth,” Red said from behind her, guiding her gently towards the waiting car. “It’s not too far to where we’ll be staying.”

Liz nodded and allowed herself to be manoeuvred into the backseat of the car, rubbing her hands together to warm them. Red slid into the seat next to her and handed her a blanket, she looked at him quizzically, wondering where he could have got it from so quickly.

“I do like to be prepared, Elizabeth,” he said simply. “Dembe, please turn up the heat.”

Liz sighed in pleasure as she sunk into the leather seat of the car, tightly wrapping herself up in the blanket as Dembe started the engine and they started to drive.

“Have you been to Italy before?” Red asked after a few moments of comfortable silence.

“You know I haven’t, Red,” she said softly. “I’ve always wanted to come, though.”

“Then I’m happy to be of assistance.”

She smiled and looked out the window at the streets as they got further into the city, she hoped they’d have time to go exploring. Even though it had been an impulse decision to come with him, she was sure that she could find ways to fill her time here, even if Red was going to be occupied.

“What’s on your agenda for today?” she asked him, still looking out the window. “Business or pleasure?”

“A bit of both, I hope. We’re getting close to our accommodations now but after that, I only have one meeting in the afternoon and then drinks with an associate late this evening. Apart from that, I am at your disposal.”

“Really?”

“You sound surprised,” he said mildly. “You don’t have to spend the day with me if you would rather—”

“No!” she cried, whipping her head around to look at him. He raised an eyebrow at her, and she flushed. “I mean, I was just surprised that you would have time free, that’s all. I didn’t want to derail your trip plans since I sort of invited myself along.”

“I invited you, Elizabeth, and you wouldn’t be here if both of us didn’t want you here.”

“You and Dembe?” she teased.

“Yes, him too, I suppose.”

“I would like to have a look around, maybe see the sights,” she said hesitantly. “If you’re free and you wouldn’t mind, maybe you could come with me? Show me what’s worth seeing?”

He took her hand and squeezed it gently, saying, “I’d be delighted to take you around, Elizabeth.”

“Good.” They smiled at each other for a moment and then Liz turned her eyes back to the window. “Good.”

They both pretended not to notice that they were still holding hands.

* * *

Later, they strolled through a busy market arm in arm. He’d told her that the market was just a little detour on the way to a museum he insisted she’d love. Red kept pointing out brightly coloured items of clothing to her, trying to convince her how incredible she’d look in each one. Liz laughed most of them off but agreed to have a closer look at some of them. In truth, she was enjoying the easy way they were interacting together, and she would have laughed and agreed to almost any suggestion he made. But she wasn’t planning on telling _him_ that.

At one point, she found herself inside a small shop twirling in a simple black dress while Red watched her critically, tutting about it being not quite right.

“Come on, Red,” Liz pleaded quietly, embarrassed somewhat by the scrutiny. “It’s not _that_ bad, surely?”

“Elizabeth, there is nothing wrong with having high standards.”

“There is when they’re impossibly high,” she grumbled as she stalked back to the changing area. Raising her voice slightly, she added, “Why do you care so much anyway?”

“What do you mean?”

“This isn’t exactly what you came for, is it? What happened to just a little detour? We’ve been here for nearly an hour!”

“You can’t rush this, Elizabeth.”

“But you don’t have to stay.”

There was a pause and Liz held her breath, wishing she hadn’t said it.

“Do you want me to go?” Red said quietly from just outside the door.

“No,” she breathed, then cleared her throat awkwardly. “I just don’t want you to feel obliged.”

“Obliged?”

He sounded amused now and Liz felt herself relax just slightly. She unzipped the black dress and started sliding it down her body.

“Yeah, don’t you have a castle to buy?” She tried to make her voice light and teasing as she spoke. “You shouldn’t be wasting your time on frivolous dress shopping.”

“Time spent with you is never wasted, Elizabeth,” he said warmly, and Liz stifled a gasp. “Besides, I would never pass up the opportunity to see you exquisitely dressed in a country you’ve always wanted to visit.”

“But you haven’t liked anything I’ve tried on so far!”

“Yes, and that is why we must keep trying. Patience is a virtue and you know me, Lizzy. I am _nothing_ if not virtuous.”

She snorted a laugh and listened to him wander away, humming a little tune as he went. She carefully hung the rejected black dress on the hook on the wall, trying to decide whether she should bother getting dressed again or just wait for Red to offer an alternative. She was almost certain that he would.

“Try this one,” he said suddenly, poking a bright red dress through the curtain.

Rolling her eyes at the colour, _of course he chose red_ , she obliged him. She quickly slipped into the dress and sighed in pleasure at the way it felt against her skin.

“Well?” Red enquired cheerfully from very close by.

“It’s beautiful,” she murmured wistfully, glancing at the price tag. “But a little out of my price range.”

“Nonsense,” he scoffed. “Will you at least let me see it?”

She stepped out from behind the curtain and held her arms up a little awkwardly.

“Ta da,” she said and just barely managed to stop herself from cringing at how lame that was. She tried to disguise her awkwardness with yet another little twirl, allowing the dress to flare out around her. “What do you think?” When he didn’t say anything, she glanced up in surprise. “Red?”

He was just staring at her, mouth open slightly. He shook his head once and coughed.

“Red?”

“I think we can leave now.”

“Oh,” Liz said, absurdly disappointed, looking down at the dress as if it were somehow at fault. “Okay, let me just change then and we can go.”

Liz darted quickly back behind the curtain and slipped out of the dress as quickly as she could. She flung it over the curtain and turned her back on it, willing herself not to cry.

_Get it together, Liz_.

She struggled back into her jeans and shoved her jumper over her head, trying to ignore the painful feeling in her throat. She took a few calming breaths as she laced up her boots and then stood up straight again, prepared to face Red with at least a modicum of dignity.

“Elizabeth?” he called, sounding calm and quite pleased.

_Damn him_.

“Yeah?”

“Do you have shoes to go with the dress or should we pick some out for you while we’re at it?”

“What?” she said, flinging the curtain aside and staring at him.

“Shoes,” he repeated, looking over at her enquiringly. “Do you have anything suitable?”

“I—”

“It would be a travesty to wear those boots with such a lovely dress, do you have something else?”

“Well—”

“And stockings, of course,” he continued on, ignoring her shell-shocked look entirely. “We’ll need stockings. It’s far too cold to go without.”

“I have shoes,” Liz muttered, “and stockings.”

“Excellent!”

“Wait, so we’re buying the dress?”

“Of course we are. Did you really think I’d let you walk out of this shop without it? Elizabeth, that dress was _made_ for you.”

“But, I thought—” she trailed off, embarrassed.

“No, there’s no time for arguing, we’ve got to get to that museum! Dembe will take care of this, won’t you, Dembe?”

Liz found herself being propelled through the store as Dembe made his way smilingly to the counter, ready to pay.

“Hang on, I thought I was going to buy that!”

“You said it was out of your price range.”

“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean you should buy it!”

“Elizabeth, I could spend the next hour going over the nature of a reciprocal relationship or the benefits of accepting gifts from friends on occasion, but I would _much_ rather continue to enjoy our time together.”

“But—”

“Tell you what, you can buy my lunch and we’ll call it even.”

“How expensive is this lunch going to be for it to be even?” she said suspiciously, fighting to contain her smile with considerable effort.

“Don’t worry,” he said as they stepped back out onto the street. “I’m a very cheap date.”

* * *

Later that night, Liz lay in bed, unable to sleep. She’d tried reading, listening to music and watching TV, but she couldn’t settle her mind to anything. It wasn’t that she wasn’t tired, she could feel how badly she needed to sleep, but she couldn’t turn her mind off. She couldn’t stop thinking about the day she’d shared with Red. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt so comfortable with him, or with anyone for that matter.

They’d spent a glorious day in the city, Red taking obvious pleasure in showing her new places and introducing her to new things, as always. They’d separated briefly when Red went to meet his contact about the castle and Liz had returned to the hotel to prepare for dinner. She’d worn the new dress and spent the whole afternoon trying to convince herself that she wasn’t nervous about going out to dinner with Red. The whole time that she was showering, doing her hair, applying her makeup and getting dressed, she kept a running commentary in her head about how ridiculous she was being.

When Red had knocked on the adjoining door to their suites, she’d almost had a panic attack as she crossed the room to open it. When he’d complimented her on how she looked, she’d blushed like she was fifteen and going on her first date. During dinner, she’d had a glimpse of what life with Red could be. The beautiful location, charming companion and easy conversation could all be hers. And who knew what else besides? Red was an ostentatiously sensual man, delighted by all of life’s pleasures and apparently unashamed by any of his desires. But what of her? Did he desire her? Or would she just be setting herself for yet another humiliating romantic entanglement?

Disturbed by the direction her thoughts had taken, she pushed the blankets away and got out of bed, shivering slightly at the cold. She paced restlessly up and down the beautiful suite Red had organised for her. They’d had a brief, light-hearted tussle over her paying for it, but she hadn’t really meant it. She doubted she’d be able to afford it anyway. She got the distinct impression that Red enjoyed being able to convince her to accept things from him. He seemed to get as much pleasure from overcoming her reluctance as he did from giving them to her in the first place. Liz knew that they had quite a tumultuous history when it came to money, but she was trying to learn how to be more open with him. It wasn’t easy for her; she wasn’t used to being able to rely on anyone.

She sighed and came to a stop in front of the window, looking out on the silent night. After a moment, she silently pulled open the door to the balcony and stepped out onto it. She had a good view of the street from her room and she watched without much interest the people scurrying down below. She drew her arms around herself, huddling uselessly against the cold. She didn’t want to go back into her room and face her empty bed, no matter how much more comfortable she’d be inside.

She honestly didn’t know why she felt so conflicted all of a sudden. Surely it was a good thing that her relationship with Red had improved? She shouldn’t beat herself up about enjoying his company or valuing his friendship. She knew she could trust him to keep her safe, even if she didn’t always agree with the methods he chose to do so. She knew she could trust him to walk away if she wanted him to. Most importantly, she knew she could trust him with Agnes, if it came to that. Red would do anything to protect her little girl, she knew that. And that meant the world to her.

She knew that any change in their relationship would bring challenges. That was true of any relationship, let alone one with all the history and baggage that theirs had. Liz had precious few people left in her life that would care one way or another who she was with, or if she spent the rest of her life alone. But of those few, her colleagues in particular, dating Raymond Reddington could be a problem. A big problem.

Not that she was thinking of dating him. Not at all.

And besides, _he_ had shown no special interest in her. Liz had grown used to his preferential treatment of her, even if she had never understood the reasoning behind it. He’d never been able to satisfactorily explain his interest in her and had never seemed especially bothered by its ambiguity. What if he really wasn’t interested in anything more than a friendly relationship? Or, God forbid, a _familial_ one? Liz shuddered at the very thought.

“Oh god,” she groaned, leaning against the edge of the balcony and holding her face in her hands. “How did this happen?”

“Lizzy!” Red’s shocked voice broke into her thoughts. “What on earth are you doing out there? Do you _want_ to get sick?”

She turned to see him walking determinedly towards her, removing his jacket and shaking his head disapprovingly at her.

“Honestly, Elizabeth,” he grumbled, draping his jacket around her shoulders quickly. “I did not bring you here so you could neglect your health—”

“Red, I’m fine—”

“And no shoes!” he continued, ignoring her protestations as he shepherded her back into the suite, shutting the door firmly behind them. “I know it’s absolutely beautiful out, but you must realise that it’s just foolish to be out in this weather without shoes on.”

“I was only out there for a minute,” Liz insisted stubbornly, refusing to think about how cold her feet were and instead basking in the warmth of his obvious concern for her.

“Why were you out there at all?” Red said, clearly exasperated as he rubbed his hands vigorously up and down her arms to help warm her.

“I was thinking.”

“And you couldn’t think inside? Or with a coat on?”

“I thought the cool air would clear my head.”

“It’ll do the opposite if you end up sick!”

She huffed an annoyed laugh at him and decided not to argue the point anymore. It wouldn’t do either of them any good.

“How’d you get in anyway?”

“You left the door unlocked, remember? I knocked for a couple of minutes and when you didn’t answer, I grew concerned, apparently with good reason.”

“Oh,” she said shortly. “I guess I was a little distracted.”

“Yes, so it would seem.”

He encouraged her to sit down in one of the armchairs and she watched him lower himself into the chair opposite her.

“Red, what—”

She stopped speaking suddenly when he lifted her feet into his lap.

“Your feet are like ice, Elizabeth,” he chided, and she rolled her eyes.

“It’s not like I’ve contracted pneumonia, Red,” she said dryly. “My feet may be _slightly_ chilly—”

“They could _chill_ champagne, Elizabeth—”

“A slight exaggeration—”

“Would you please stop being so troublesome—”

“I thought that’s what you liked about me,” she said, aiming for coy but somehow ending up sounding sarcastic. “My troublesome nature.”

“Not at all,” he replied carelessly, beginning to chafe her feet between his hands. “Your troublesome nature is what I choose to graciously accommodate so I may have the pleasure of your company.”

“Pleasure?” Liz whispered and Red looked up at her in surprise. Liz was a little shocked herself when she reached out her hand and wrapped it firmly around his tie. “Is that what you want from me, Red? Pleasure?”

She awkwardly extracted her feet from his hands and stood up shakily, allowing his jacket to fall off her shoulders. When he didn’t immediately follow her, she pulled gently on his tie and he jerked to his feet. She took a step closer to him and crowded into his personal space, still holding fast to his tie.

“Elizabeth, what are you—”

She put her hand against his mouth and shook her head.

“Don’t call me Elizabeth, Red. Not now.”

She moved her hand from his lips to the back of his head and encouraged him to come closer, her intent as clear as she could make it.

“Lizzy?”

“Yes,” she moaned, “much better.”

She pressed her lips against his before she could change her mind. His mouth opened in shock beneath hers and she responded quickly, sucking on his bottom lip experimentally. Red groaned and grabbed her hips, pulling them roughly against his and she nearly whooped in triumph. Instead, she slipped her tongue into his mouth and tangled it against his. She wrapped an arm around his shoulders and started walking backwards towards the bed, still kissing him fiercely and trying to dodge the furniture.

When she felt the edge of the bed against her legs, Liz pulled her mouth away from his, gasping for breath. Red opened his eyes slowly and looked at her in wonder, as if he couldn’t quite believe where they were or what they were doing.

“Lizzy?”

She didn’t say anything but gave him a slight push, so he fell sprawled across the bed. She followed him quickly, straddling his hips and groaning at the feel of him hard beneath her.

“Elizabeth, you don’t have to do this.”

“Do what?”

“Prove anything to me,” he said, still sounding slightly breathless.

She felt her cheeks flush in embarrassment, and she looked away.

“Right,” she said stiffly. “Of course.”

She started trying to extract herself from him, but he held fast to her hips.

“It’s not that I don’t _want_ you to prove anything to me, of course,” Red continued cheerfully, and Liz shot him a warning look. “But I want it to be for the right reasons.”

“The right reasons? And those would be for you to decide, naturally.”

“Elizabeth, you have been through an extraordinary ordeal in recent months.”

“Years, actually,” she said.

“Years,” he agreed. “If you do ever want to pursue something with me, I want you to be certain.”

“And what makes you so sure I’m not certain now?” she said stubbornly, rolling her hips against his and smirking at the expression on his face. “Because I feel pretty certain.”

“Elizabeth.”

The way he said her name made her want to strip him naked, tie him to her bed and make him scream it out loud. She bit her lip.

“Please understand that I am not _rejecting_ your advances.”

“Oh good,” she snapped. “Because otherwise this whole thing would be hideously embarrassing for me.”

“I want you, Lizzy,” he said simply. “I would have thought that was fairly obvious, and if all you want from me is one night of unbridled passion, I’m happy to oblige you, and I will do my very best to make it a pleasurable experience for both of us.”

“Oh?”

“But if you want something _more_ from me, then I owe it to you that we do this right.” He moved his hands up until they cupped her cheeks. “You owe it to _yourself_ that we do this right.”

She looked down at her hands where they rested against his shirt and noticed that they were trembling slightly. She closed her eyes to steady herself and tried to ignore the sound of their breathing, still so heavy and intrusive in the silence of the room.

“So, what do you want, Lizzy?”

She looked at him apprehensively.

“What do you really want?”

She took a deep breath and let it go in a rush, smiling ruefully at him.

“I want you, Red.”

“But?” he prompted.

“I’m not ready yet,” she said regretfully. “I want to be ready, but—”

“You don’t have to explain.”

“I want to do this right.”

“An excellent idea!”

Liz slid off his lap and sat next to him on the bed as he sat up.

“So, maybe when we get back to Washington we could, I don’t know, go out—” She trailed off awkwardly and met his amused smile with one of her own. “We’ll figure it out, won’t we?”

“Of course, we will.”

He pressed a kiss into her hair and urged her to rest her head on his shoulder. She sighed as she settled down, a feeling of peace settling over her.

“I think it’s better if I go back to my suite,” Red murmured a few minutes later. “Leave you to sleep in peace.”

“Okay,” Liz mumbled, already half asleep.

She got up reluctantly and followed him to the door, snagging his jacket from the armchair as she passed.

“Thank you for a wonderful day, Red. I loved it.”

“My pleasure,” he rumbled.

“I’m sorry for before—” she began but he cut her off with a wave of his hand.

“Save your apologies for things that matter, Lizzy. There’s absolutely nothing for you to be sorry for.”

“I’m just not ready yet,” she said quietly, handing him his jacket.

“Elizabeth,” he sighed, “I’ve been waiting a long time for you.”

“You have?”

“And I don’t mind waiting a little longer.”

He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her temple. She closed her eyes in pleasure and sighed.

“Hey,” she said, just as he moved to open the door. “You know what you said earlier?”

“I say a lot of things, Elizabeth. Can you be more specific?”

“About Churchill, back in Washington.”

“Churchill?” he said, sounding baffled.

“You said that he beat back Hitler with style, grace and unwavering confidence.”

“Yes.”

“You said that you were an eager if unworthy heir.”

“Yes?”

“You’re not unworthy.”

“Oh?”

“Style, grace and unwavering confidence,” she said, trying and failing to muffle a huge yawn. “That’s you exactly.”

“Sleep now, Lizzy,” he whispered. “I’ll see you in morning.”

She tilted her head and considered him in silence for a moment. She thoughtfully traced his lips with her finger, smiling when he closed his eyes in pleasure.

“Lizzy?”

“I’m not ready.”

“No.”

“But I will be,” she promised.

“Yes,” he agreed as opened the door, “you will be.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks, as always, to anyone who reads/leaves kudos/comments. It really does make everything so much better!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to anyone who takes the time to read/leave kudos/comment. It really does make my day so much better!


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